WH wrote: Another Pointy-haired professor true story.
TS Technical Support Rep/ PHP = Pointy-haired professor!
TS: "techsupport, how can I help you?"
PHP: My computer won't turn on.
TS: Have you tried tapping the keyboard to wake it from sleep?
PHP: no... I am doing that now, but nothing happens.
TS: Have you tried turning the monitor on and off again?
PHP: I think so.
TS: Have you tried restarting the system using the power button?
PHP: I did all that. It was working before I left for lunch, and now
TS: Can you give me your room#, name and a time we can come and
PHP: Room 555B-Z, PHP, can you send someone right away? My lights are
TS: Wait a second. Does anything in your office that is plugged in
work right now? Is it possible that a breaker has been tripped?
PHP: No. All the other stuff on my desk is okay.
TS: I'll be right up.
In room 555B-Z:
TS: Umm... light are out, PC is out, surge suppressor is dead. What
does work in here?
PHP: Well, my fan (battery powered 2" high purple plastic fan), my
telephone, and this stapler.
TS: The stapler isn't electric.
PHP: Really? I requested an electric one. I wondered why I had to
push it so hard.
TS: Look. I really think this is just a tripped breaker. Let me see if
I can find someone with a key to the electrical room.
PHP: While you are here, can you check something else for me, please?
TS: Perhaps, what is it?
PHP: Well, just before lunch I was expressing - using this breast pump.
I need to pump again, and it won't work.
TS: (internal voice: "EWWW!") I think that device is also electric.
Try it after the breaker is reset.
(Red Alert! all body language ON, point everything to the door and
PHP: Are you certain? I mean, I'd really be stuck if this pump was
broken. Can you take it back to your office and check it? If it is
broken, I'll need to call and get a replacement before they close.
TS: Well, that isn't Universty property is it? I really can't work on
anything that isn't company owned.
PHP: Can't you do anything at all? I mean - nothing in my office is
working. At least I thought I could fill a bottle or two.
TS: Please. I'll get the electricity turned on ASAP. If you really
need to use your pump, why not take it to the faculty lounge or to the
PHP: Oh, that is too dirty!
TS: ( stepping over old boxes of Twinkies and "Reggie" chocolate bars,
circa 1997) I can understand your frustration, but I really need to get
to my next service call.
PHP: Wait. Can't you just test this for me?
TS: If you really want that - you will have to call my boss so I get
cleared to work on personal property. I'll also need you to sign a
waiver in case something I do breaks it "more".
TS: If I don't get a page from my supervisor, I will assume that your
electricity is on, and you are satisfied for today. Is that okay?
4 minutes later, breakers reset and power restored.
Support incident closed.
Disclaimer: As with everything else at Cool Solutions, this content is definitely not supported by Novell (so don't even think of calling Support if you try something and it blows up).
It was contributed by a community member and is published "as is." It seems to have worked for at least one person, and might work for you. But please be sure to test, test, test before you do anything drastic with it.