Cool Solutions

My Computer Won’t Turn On


August 26, 2010 12:07 pm





WH wrote: Another Pointy-haired professor true story.

TS Technical Support Rep/ PHP = Pointy-haired professor!

TS: “techsupport, how can I help you?”
PHP: My computer won’t turn on.
TS: Have you tried tapping the keyboard to wake it from sleep?
PHP: no… I am doing that now, but nothing happens.
TS: Have you tried turning the monitor on and off again?
PHP: I think so.
TS: Have you tried restarting the system using the power button?
PHP: I did all that. It was working before I left for lunch, and now
it stopped.
TS: Can you give me your room#, name and a time we can come and
investigate further?
PHP: Room 555B-Z, PHP, can you send someone right away? My lights are
out, too.
TS: Wait a second. Does anything in your office that is plugged in
work right now? Is it possible that a breaker has been tripped?
PHP: No. All the other stuff on my desk is okay.
TS: I’ll be right up.

In room 555B-Z:
TS: Umm… light are out, PC is out, surge suppressor is dead. What
does work in here?
PHP: Well, my fan (battery powered 2″ high purple plastic fan), my
telephone, and this stapler.
TS: The stapler isn’t electric.
PHP: Really? I requested an electric one. I wondered why I had to
push it so hard.
TS: Look. I really think this is just a tripped breaker. Let me see if
I can find someone with a key to the electrical room.
PHP: While you are here, can you check something else for me, please?
TS: Perhaps, what is it?
PHP: Well, just before lunch I was expressing – using this breast pump.
I need to pump again, and it won’t work.
TS: (internal voice: “EWWW!”) I think that device is also electric.
Try it after the breaker is reset.
(Red Alert! all body language ON, point everything to the door and
start moving!)
PHP: Are you certain? I mean, I’d really be stuck if this pump was
broken. Can you take it back to your office and check it? If it is
broken, I’ll need to call and get a replacement before they close.

TS: Well, that isn’t Universty property is it? I really can’t work on
anything that isn’t company owned.
PHP: Can’t you do anything at all? I mean – nothing in my office is
working. At least I thought I could fill a bottle or two.
TS: Please. I’ll get the electricity turned on ASAP. If you really
need to use your pump, why not take it to the faculty lounge or to the
PHP: Oh, that is too dirty!
TS: ( stepping over old boxes of Twinkies and “Reggie” chocolate bars,
circa 1997) I can understand your frustration, but I really need to get
to my next service call.

PHP: Wait. Can’t you just test this for me?
TS: If you really want that – you will have to call my boss so I get
cleared to work on personal property. I’ll also need you to sign a
waiver in case something I do breaks it “more”.
TS: If I don’t get a page from my supervisor, I will assume that your
electricity is on, and you are satisfied for today. Is that okay?

PHP: (grumble)

4 minutes later, breakers reset and power restored.
Support incident closed.

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